If Stuck in a Hip Hop Bar and Need a Good Beer

I'm still here in Atlanta trying to figure it all out. One thing you'll notice is in the ATL is that there are probably a hundred different hip hop clubs one could go to in a night in this city, and maybe 20 of them will be PACKED! And that's EVERY NIGHT. Most towns, there's one place on one night, one place on another night. Here's every one-off concert, new liquor, and Lil' Jon night is always going.

So my good friend who lives here knows that I'm more of a lounge guy, where we can sit down, drink, and here each other talk. Maybe a small dance floor. And of course the places we went to we couldn't find a seat, the bar is 3 layers thick of people all ordering watered down Hendog, and the music is too loud to hear yourself think.

Regardless, I think life is too short to drink bad beer, and I already know that I'm not going to find much of a selection there. And I REFUSE to pay the ridiculous prices they are pushing at us for hard liquor. So what to do.

First off: Avoid the Taps.
As Lew Bryson pontificated on, not many blackfolk are into beer like that... yet. So whatever is on tap has probably BEEN on tap forever. I know I ordered a Shiner Bock and a Sam Adams on tap at a nice jazz bar in Houston and I swear it tasted like I was licking the outside of the keg. That stuff can get way past its shelf life. Just say no to taps, even if it's craft beer. In fact, don't touch the tap unless the club has at least 20% non-black people, then you know you're at least getting some turnover on that draft beer.

Second: Get Bottle Only
The other thing about these bars is that watering down is the norm. You pretty much have to be in VIP to get the potent stuff. That goes for beer on tap. Must be a cultural thing.

Third: Guiness Baby
That's right. About the only non-megaswill beer I would get on a bottle is Guiness. And it actually tastes better in my opinion out of the bottle. Heineken is always available, but we all know how those green bottles let in light, and thus oxidation and funk. And again, you don't know how long that Heiney has been sitting in that fridge. Guiness comes in a black bottle, so it works out great with longevity. Not to mention that it will make you look a touch more sophisticated to the ladies if you're drinking the big G than Bud. Go figure.

Fourth: Deep South Clubs
One thing about your more country hip hop clubs in the deep south is that they will let you bring in your own drinks. That also includes some strip clubs. Obviously you need to do a little planning so you can pick up the Sierra Nevada at the grocery store. In most places in the South you cannot buy alcohol after midnight at a store, some lingering Bible Belt laws. But for some reasons gas stations are okay, but who the hell wants to be stuck with a bunch of tallboys of Bud Dry. At least make it PBR.

So there you have, how to at least enjoy some beer at a Hip Hop Club. Now get out there and the hip hoppery. Welcome to Atlanta Shawtay!!!