Christmas Beer and Beerbrotha Sports Review: Frank Bush, Get the Hell Out

So I'm sitting here watching Grey's Anatomy on DVR and I'm still fired up about how the Texans have been performing all season. Mostly we can't get started until the second half of the season, which really sucks. I have sat in the same seat at the stadium or listened to the game on the radio at home while watching the kid, and we keep f'n losing at the end of the game. SURELY we could have beaten that sorry chump Tim Tebow, and sure enough we got nuthin again. Just another loss, and another sorry quarterback like Tebow, Collins, Sanchez, and Garrett look like the second coming of Joe Montana on the Texans. A damn shame. I picked a hell of a day to take a break from beering.

I think I heard it best from Chris Rock when he said TRUE integration is when you see the mediocre black people being hired and given chances in high places. As a black QB or coach, you had to WALK on water to even get an honest shot at the big jobs, and this was in the 90s. General Manager was a pipe dream. We got one Tony Dungy while Marty Chokenheimer was given chance after chance. We managed to get a few excellent coaches in there, but fast forward just 15 years.

OH MY HOW WE HAVE OVERCOME! I don't care if the next guys are black, white, or purple, I need Frank Bush to TURN HIS KEYCARD in by Monday morning. Based on how they play against J'ville, it's probably safe to say that Kubiak needs to walk as well, but I'll give him another week. Rick Smith hasn't put together an even halfway decent defensive players. But the team's defense really comes down to the defensive coordinator: Frank Bush. They say he's a nice guy and I truly hate to see brothas get canned. But this just can't continue. If we can get the DC at Cleveland as a head coach, I'd bring him in now.

Frank Bush's Texans defense has TIED the record for the most 24 point games given up in a season with 14 games. And we still have one more game to go. We have given up the most yards per game of all time. I say we go for the record. Let J'ville run up the score as well. Frank Bush needs to take his butt on the first thing smoking out of town, and Kubiak can go one more week later.

We need to get one of those fat bastard defensive coordinators with his gut sticking out. A guy that looks like he smells like bratwurst, cheddar, and Yuengling. Romeo Cernell, Rob Ryan, even Wade Phillips would be better. You know I could even see someone like John Fox from Carolina after they fire him as our DC. Frank Bush has to be the worst coordinator we've ever had. So on the positive, if you throw in Singletary and Vince Young, integration in the NFL is COMPLETE. But on the negative, the Texans still have a horrible defense.

Let me do some of my reviews from Christmas day.

Ommegang Tripel Perfection
Golden amber haze with white head. Nose is light banana, sour lemon, and herbal. Taste is much the same. Very smith with killer drinkability. Light-mod pepper and nice smooth spice. So simple yet so complex. This is beer's answer to a fine wine. I'm talking a Bordeaux level wine here. Ommegang is just knocking it out of the park time and again with these awesome beers. It's such a simple beer, but just... perect. 5 stars

Deschutes Jubilale
Dark amber with a fantastic head. Nose is a soda hop with taxes of brown sugar. Decent bread and light malt. Beer has a time of spirness to it. Kinda boring. Reminds me of the twilight pale ale with those prevalent american hops. Low 3 stars.

Tailgating beers: Part 1, Indy vs. Houston

First home game of the season a month into the season. Our tailgating crew got nailed by Hurricane Ike, so although they made the game, our folks were not tailgating. Like that stopped us, we just got a few six packs, popped to the top on the car, turned on the talk radio, and chatted it up in the parking lot with some other "trunk of the car" tailgaters.

Criteria:

To make a good tailgating beer, I gather that the beer has to be a session beer, as you will be drinking lots of it (anything with the word "imperial" are out). If your team is sorry yet has a game on TV (college or pro), you will have a game NICE AND EARLY IN THE DAY, so the beer has to be a good beer to drink in the morning. The beer cannot be too filling, as it will put you to sleep midway through the second half of the game (so oatmeal stouts are out). It has to have some good flavor, be fitting for the weather, and go great with tailgating food (usually grilled food). It lastly has to taste good in a bottle or can. People who drink beer at a tailgate in a plastic cup should be shot (save those with kegs). One, you are increasing the trash for no reason as you have a perfectly good bottle/can, and two it will warm up too fast. It helps if the beer is drinkable.

We tried two beers this time.

Red Stripe Jamaican Lager

Managed to drink three of these before the game. In the bottle, it tasted strangely like Full Sail's Session. As they are both in that stubby bottle as well, I think Red Stripe may have a lawsuit. I could taste substantial malt, low hops. Actually was not feeling it too much. We weren't grilling, so all I had was a turkey sandwich. A little malt liquory on the sweetness. It would probably go better with spicy jamaican food, but whatever, tailgate beers have to versatile. Lord only knows what food will show up at a tailgate. I did not feel all that tipsy after downing them. They were very drinkable. Not bad stuff.

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Ah, one of my 4 star beers, and it did not disappoint. Could be that the only hoppy beer I've had in a couple months was Budweiser Am Ale, but this one was excellent. My friend, who is not a craft beer guy, even liked it. We had no food, but the hops and malt fit in just right. It has a bit more alcohol, but I was already a couple Red Stripes in. An excellent tailgating beer. The tailgaters down the lot fired up the Cupid Shuffle and then some Souljah Boy. Good times. I know this will go well with grilled food as well.

The Texans have 7 more home games, and I will probably make 5 of them. Too bad about the terrible loss. I cannot even watch football for a while after that meltdown. I cannot even watch HIGHLIGHTS of football until FAMU plays WSSU on Thursday. I feel a little better this morning, but I have to keep reminding myself, our day will come. And when it finally does, I can say I was there the whole time. Next game is against Miami.